i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
