if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
