When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize