Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
