My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
