I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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