apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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