You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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