It's Friday. Sex?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
