He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
