Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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