I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
