my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
