I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
