my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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