i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
