Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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