I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
