my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize