I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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