im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
