Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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