Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My pussy is not your playground.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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