I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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