Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this just has baby written all over it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
