i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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