That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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