you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
