good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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