butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
