Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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