you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
