apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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