walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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