did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
