this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
