I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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