i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
