You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
