ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's worth it.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How worth it?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Back door worth it

  Fav 4 4906 1857

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

  Fav 14 1028 6145

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club

  Fav 8 1330 2163

  share tweet
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??

  Fav 4 1609 1130

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

  Fav 5 1823 865

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.

  Fav 1 1439 740

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick

  Fav 3 653 1089

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

  Fav 2 657 1251

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit

  Fav 5 26 87

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

  Fav 0 8 47

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.

  Fav 0 21 49

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...

  Fav 0 24 37

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.

  Fav 0 48 4

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...

  Fav 0 49 16

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him

  Fav 0 23 56

  share tweet
  

Randomize