we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
