I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
