i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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