Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
