so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
