i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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