your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
