you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
