why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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