Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
