And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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