i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
