her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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