I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
