Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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