I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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