Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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(586): View more from Michigan

conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

(507): View more from Minnesota

Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

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(352): View more from Florida

But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?

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(516): View more from New York

so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...

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