Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
