I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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