is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
