Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize