I am spending my child support on dildos
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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