I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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