Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
