she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
nutella sex= disaster
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
