was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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