the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
