Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
