Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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