ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
